Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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