yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
