During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
