the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
