Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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