My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize