So drunk its hurt
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
50% drunk capacity currently
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
