Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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