When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
