i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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