Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
