WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
