I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
