So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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