My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
