just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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