btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I need to sanitize my soul.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
