Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
bring money and cleavage
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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