Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This is the high leading the old right now
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I would ride that face into the sunset
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
