We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
