Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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