just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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