craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
