Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
