yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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