Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
