if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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