y did u give ur computer a hand job?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
