You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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