ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
