How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
