Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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