Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
