I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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