Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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