good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
