I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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