whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
