and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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