what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize