It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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