Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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