What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
