I can text with my tongue
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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