I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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