All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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