She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
