It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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