its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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