there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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