based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
