he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
