wakey wakey hands off snakey
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
