Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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