First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
