That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
