so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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