I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
