that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I need water and some morals
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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