how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize