She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
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