Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
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You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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