the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize