Who wears a wallet chain?!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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