Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
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Mom said you looked used
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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