if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
