Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
