this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
