tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize