I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize